A new moral watchdog group named, “Morality in Science” has its sight set on Uranus. Rev. John Steeplemore, founding Pastor of First Fundamentalist Church of the Orthodox Reformed Baptist Union, Mobile, Alabama said he was moved to action when his son, Johnny Steeplemore Jr., came home from school and, at the family table, declared, “Hey daddy, I’m gonna look up Uranus. Did you know there’s a ring around Uranus?” Steeplemore is shocked at the so-called “potty humor around Uranus.” “I mean, how many times can you hear, ‘Hey did y’all hear. They’re sending a probe to the twin moons of Uranus!’, without being morally outraged?”
Rev. Steeplemore decided to take action. He set up a web-site, “God Hates Uranus”, and gathered other local Fundamentalist ministers together to discuss, what he calls, “The most pressing issue I have ever faced, the problem with Uranus.”
Steeplemore has called for the US Government to launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike against Uranus, despite the protests of scientists, and even more moderate ministers of the Gospel. Rev. I. M. Wright states, “I’m not sure nuking Uranus will take care of the problem. In fact, there are some concerns that all that radiation may have an adverse effect upon the Glorious Return of our Lord and Savior. I mean, the KJV does state that ‘Every eye will see Him’ as He returns, but there’s nothing in there about His Glowing Presence.”
Rev. I.M. Wright has started his own group, after he learned the planets were named after false gods. His group, The Coalition To Re-Name All The Planets Of The Solar System After The Twelve Apostles, takes a more moderate stance on the Uranus Issue. When told there were only 8 planets, he stated that the naming would be based on the individual Apostle’s ‘Jesus Time’, namely, how much one on one time they spent with Jesus. “Obviously you can forget about Judas, and the guy who replaced him. No one remembers him anyway. We might have to make an exception for the Apostle Paul, since he came along after Jesus rose from the dead. Despite that, we believe he did a pretty good job of evangelizing the world.”
For his part, Steeplemore says he’s tired of scientists pushing their anti-god agenda on society. “It’s just one more sign that we are living in the end times. It doesn’t end with Uranus. Do you want your child coming home talking about Asteroids? That kind of unwholesome talk should not be allowed in our schools. What are they teaching these kids?”
So far, there has been no comment from the Obama White House. However, Sarah Palin, who is one of the front-runners for the Republican Party for the 2012 campaign, did issue a press release stating, “I can see Uranus from here.”
The Offending Planet and it’s Rings.
“Look how it sits there, hanging in space, luring our children into coarse jesting with its titillating name! Uranus! “
Filed under: Christianity, Church, Fundamentalism, Funny, Humor, Religion, Space | Tagged: Christianity, Church, Fringe, Fundamentalists, Humor, Religion, Religious humor, Uranus
This is absultly crazy. stupid. there is nothing wrong with naming planets after greek and roman gods. the name uranus is from greek mythology, and just because kids and childish adults make fun of the name does not mean that we should change it. and blowing up a planet just shows how idiotic and stupid it would be to blow up a planet- and waste taxpayers money with a nuclear bomb- just because of a planets NAME. and learning about space isnt a bad thing.
i think Rev. Steeplemore just wants his name in the papers.
I could not agree with you more! I think you should email the Rev. Steeplemore and tell him your thoughts!